The fairy tale usually goes like this: you meet, you fall in love, you get married, you have children, they grow old, you live happily ever after taking care of grandchildren. Or at least that’s what I’ve been told all my life, starting with Disney movies and ending (well, not so much ending as continuously dragging) with the same question I get over and over again: when are you gonna have kids?
I usually answer with ‘I don’t want children’, and the truth is I don’t really care about them that much. My vision of a family was always meeting someone I have tons of stuff in common with, someone that makes me laugh (and we share the same weird sense of humor), someone that always has my back and someone who I can take over the world with, one TV show, concert and city-break at a time.
I was never looking for someone to father my children, all I ever wanted was a partner and I found him: the exact specimen I had been picturing in my mind standing in front of me and being just how I pictured him. He is the embodiment of my very own version of Prince Charming, but I don’t ever think about having his children.
I don’t get tingly feelings when I see him around children, I do love to see him happy, I love how he acts when he first wakes up in the morning, how he laughs at something funny, how we bitch together about people we don’t like.
There is such a perfect harmony in our relationship, that I am actually afraid a child would hurt it, because there really isn’t room for anyone else. And I ask myself: why would we take this perfect symbiosis that we have created and see if it passes the test of not dedicating all our time and energy to one another.
Maybe it makes me selfish that I want him all to myself, but I don’t want to ruin the perfect relationship for a child I never really wanted. Even if it is in the tiniest probability.
But that’s my version of what a family looks like, as I am sure everyone has theirs. As most people go to the classics — mom, dad and kids -, times have changed and the nuclear family is losing ground.
Though not all situations are still socially accepted by everyone, there is no reason why you shouldn’t create your own perfect family, the way you see fit and the way that makes you love your life. Without the pressure of getting married, of having kids too young or too old or not having them at all.
Life is about finding your balance and finding happiness. That’s what we’re doing and that is what I hope everyone does!